Sexism? more like SexAWESOME!

Women.

Nobody really understands them, from what it is they to why they do it. Complex creatures with a slew of emotions and reactions that cannot ever be accurately predicted: no rhyme or reason to what it is they do. There did not seem like anything that everyone could agree on, except for one thing;

They are not people.

I mean, sure, they are human beings, but they are not people. They have the same [basic] principles as real people, but with fundamentally more rules (which are obviously there for their safety). Men constantly are required to remind women about their place, role and inability to function on their own due to the woman's forgetful and scatterbrained nature. Unfortunately, due to their natural disposition men have to be gentle and [often] humorous so as to not upset the delicate mind of the woman. Such reminders could be in the form of a question, or even presented as a witty joke. Be careful to not be too witty though, she IS a woman.

Comments/Jokes can be, but are not limited too, the following:
"Are women allowed to own property?"
"Is dinner not at six?"
"Since when are women allowed to drive?"
"If you do not smarten up, I'll have to Chris Brown your ass."

There are many indications that women are not equal to men whether it be physically or mentally. Men run the superpower countries. Men are the protectors of the home. Men invent useful things. Men are amazing at war. The reasons are endless, but one that can never be overlooked is beautifully simple;

Men have the penis.

The penis is the greatest thing to ever grace the planet Earth; not only does it firmly establish men as the superior beings, it is also a source of [never-ending] hilarity. Men can pee standing up, can actually aim at things, etc.

Women? They are just lowly creatures that need men in order to thrive or else they would struggle and die; they would have nobody to drive them places, open jars or even give them the honor of servicing a penis.

And as we learn from pornography, every woman is happily surprised when presented with a penis.


Thing 1
-Groove Sucka Groove

**Editors note: Opinions expressed here are not necessarily shared by other Things in a Box, and are also considered to be humorous in nature.